9 Prison Food Recipes That Actually Taste Good
Published July 21, 2023
Everyone who’s been to prison would agree that prison food is awful. If it doesn’t make you gag, it’ll probably give you diarrhea or, worse, food poisoning. It’s no wonder that inmates have come up with various creative prison food recipes over the years.
Since most prisons don’t allow visitors to bring food items, they usually have to make do with commissary items. But with it being heavily regulated, the choices can be pretty limited. As such, whipping food recipes in prison is usually a hit-or-miss thing.
While some prison food recipes are best left forgotten, some taste good. Here are some of them:
1. Prison Pad Thai
Making Prison Recipes | Pad Thai
Pad Thai is one of the most iconic Asian foods that catapult Thai cuisine to the global stage. And its prison version doesn’t disappoint.
Since rice noodles are not available in prison commissaries, inmates have to make do with the closest thing they can get their hands on – ramen noodles. It might not have that signature spicy-nutty taste we’re all familiar with, but it’s tasty in its unique way.
Ingredients:
- ramen noodles
- crushed peanuts
- peanut butter
- hot sauce
How to make it:
- Prepare ramen noodles as per packet directions, then drain excess water.
- Stir in peanuts, peanut butter, and hot sauce.
- Top with extra peanuts
2. Oreo and Peanut Butter Layer Cake
Foodbeast's Jail Birthday Cake Recipe
One quick look at this prison menu will tell you why inmates must come up with this dessert. The only sweet thing on that menu is the sugar substitutes. And with all the stress they’re going through daily, a sweet dessert like this is worth the diabetes.
Ingredients:
- oreo cookies
- peanut butter
- M&Ms
How to make it:
- Separate the Oreo cookies from the filling.
- Crush Oreo cookies, then add a little water until moist enough to mold.
- Mold the Oreo in a plastic tray (or substitute) to form one layer. Then top it off with peanut butter to form another layer. Use the Oreo filling to make the final layer.
- Top with M&Ms.
3. No-Bake Cheesecake
Prison Cheesecake | Orange is the New Black
This is a recipe that Piper Kerman, author of the hit Netflix adaptation “Orange is the New Black,” whipped up when she was still in prison. As with any prison food, it was made without access to an oven or any baking tools. Considering that she had to steal margarine for this, it’s probably worth the risk of solitary confinement.
Ingredients:
- graham crackers, vanilla wafers, or Oreos
- 1 round (8 wedges) of Laughing Cow cheese
- 4 cups vanilla pudding
- 6 oz. coffee mate
- 1/2 cup lemon juice
- 4-6 pats of margarine
How to make it:
- Melt the margarine.
- Crush the crackers or cookies.
- Mix the melted margarine and crushed crackers/cookies and press firmly on the bottom of the dish. This will serve as the cake’s crust.
- In a separate dish, mash Laughing Cow cheese until smooth. Mix lemon juice and blend well to get rid of lumps. Add vanilla pudding and continue to mix. Add more lemon juice if necessary and continue blending. Gradually add coffee mate and mix until it achieves that thick creamy consistency.
- Pour the mixture over the crust.
- Chill in a plastic wash bucket filled with ice for at least four hours. Serve chilled.
4 . Chi-Chi
How to Make Chi Chi -- Lancaster County Prison Food
This is a prison food recipe that every prisoner might be familiar with. It’s even dubbed the ultimate prison comfort food because it’s easy to make, and you can customize it to your liking.
There are no hard and fast rules when it comes to making chi-chi. The recipe can vary from person to person and prison to prison. It’s the bibimbap of prison foods. You just throw in whatever commissary food items you have or feel like and hope for the best. But they generally include ramen noodles, chips or curls, and seasonings.
Ingredients:
- Any food item you have (ramen, meat snacks, chili, seasonings, etc.)
How to make it:
- Combine all ingredients in a plastic bag.
Soak the bag in hot water. Or, if you can, cook it in boiling water using a “stinger. “
5. Ramen Noodle Sandwich
How To Make A Jailhouse Ramen Noodle Sandwich | Beginner Jail Recipes
Ramen is a staple in prison. It’s cheap, filling, and readily available at the commissary. But try eating it for days, and you probably wouldn’t want to look at it again. That’s why inmates devise various ways to make it more palatable. Enter the ramen noodle sandwich.
If you can’t guess it by its name, it’s a type of sandwich that’s probably the predecessor to the ramen burger trend. Instead of buns, softened ramen noodles are used and filled with whatever filling the inmate can make. Some recipes call for a tuna and pepperoni mix. But in most cases, inmates just mix cheese chips and ramen flavorings.
Ingredients:
- instant ramen noodles
- cheese chips
- canned tuna/pepperoni sticks (optional)
- whatever ingredient you feel like adding
How to make it:
- Soften the ramen noodles with hot water.
- While the noodles are cooking, make your filling. Instead of cheese spread, you can crush a bag of cheese chips and then mix all your other ingredients.
- Drain the water when the noodles are soft (but not soggy). Spread them apart and spread the filling in the center. Fold them back up, and your ramen sandwich is done.
6. Jailhouse Burrito
Making Prison Recipes | The Burrito
Buritto is one of the most popular comfort foods in the world. But since prison commissaries don’t sell tortillas, inmates came up with an exciting twist to the traditional burrito recipe. The final result reminds me more of a tamale than a burrito. But they’re calling it a burrito, so let’s stick with that.
Ingredients:
- a bag of Doritos
- ramen noodles
- hot water
- meat sticks (optional)
How to make it:
- Crush the Doritos until it becomes powder-like.
- Crush the ramen noodles into tiny bits.
- Mix the powdered Doritos and crushed ramen in the Doritos bag. Add the meat sticks or whatever meat substitute you have. Skip the meat sticks if you prefer less grease and lower sodium.
- Pour hot water into the mixture just enough to cover everything. Don’t overdo it, or you’ll have a Doritos soup instead.
- Fold the bag until it creates an air-tight pocket. It should also assume the familiar tubular shape of a burrito.
- Cover it with a thermal jacket or under your pillow to preserve the heat.
- Remove them from the plastic bag after 30 minutes or whenever you think the noodles are cooked.
- Enjoy your jailhouse burrito.
7. Prison Nachos
How to make “Prison Style” Nachos
Nachos are one of those foods that are so easy to make that messing it up is tantamount to sacrilege unless you’re in prison, where proper nachos ingredients are hard to come by.
But as we’ve proven in this list, inmates can recreate even the most complicated dishes with nothing but wit and will. Plus, Doritos are readily available in commissaries. That’s like two ingredients away from becoming nachos. And so prison nachos were born.
Ingredients:
- a bag of Doritos
- flaming hot Cheetos
- nachos cheese sauce
- dill pickles (with the juice)
- refried beans
How to make it:
- Crush the Cheetos into a powder-like consistency.
- Mix the nachos cheese sauce with the powdered Cheetos.
- Add a few spoonfuls of pickle juice to the Cheetos-cheese mixture. Mix thoroughly until it becomes a creamy paste.
- Heat the refried beans and cheese sauce separately in a microwave.
- While the beans and cheese are heating, chop up some dill pickles. One is usually enough, but if you like pickles, then feel free to add more.
- Pour the Doritos into a plate or any plastic container. This will serve as the base of your nachos.
- Add the melted cheese on top of the Doritos.
- Top with chopped dill pickles.
- If you have meat sticks, you can chop some of them and add them to the mixture.
- Serve and enjoy.
8. Prison Pizza
Making a Prison Pizza
According to a CNBC report, pizza is America’s top comfort food. That is why even inmates have attempted to recreate the recipe in prison. The recipe is a simplified version using limited ingredients commonly found in prison. It may not taste exactly like traditional pizza, but it can be a creative way to satisfy cravings with what’s available.
Ingredients:
- Block cheese or Squeeze Cheese
- Empty plastic bags (Dorito bag)
- 2 sleeves of Saltine cracker
- 2 sleeves of Ritz cracker
- 1 pack of ramen noodles
- 1 stick of Slim Jim
- Onions
- Pickles
- Tomato Paste
- Pepperoni slices
How to make it:
- Put 2 sleeves of Saltine crackers and w2 sleeves of Ritz crackers in the Dorito bag or any empty plastic bag. Crush them gently.
- Crush the ramen noodles and mix them with the Saltine and Ritz crackers.
- Chop the onion, pickles, slim jim, and block cheese into thin slices and set aside to use as toppings later.
- Add enough hot water to the bag to soak everything. The water should be at the exact level of the crushed mixture.
- Mash everything in the bad for about 15 minutes.
- Make sure the mixture looks like dough. Then, cut the bag open and flatten it.
- Spread another chip bag open, lay it over the dough, and use anything round as a rolling pin to flatten and distribute the dough evenly.
- Spread the tomato and add in all the toppings.
- Microwave the pizza for 5 minutes.
9. Prison Tamales
Hot Cheeto Prison Tamale Recipe (REAL JAIL FOOD) *TASTE TEST*
Prison Tamales are a type of Mexican dish made by inmates. It is a portable and flavorful meal that prisoners enjoy. Prison Tamales provide a taste of traditional Mexican cuisine using the resources available within the facility.
Ingredients:
- Warm water
- Pickles
- Ramen noodles
- Fritos
- Flaming Hot Cheetos
- Meat stick or beef jerky sausage
- Cheese spread
How to make it:
- Crush the ramen noodles.
- Measure two cups of hot Cheetos and one cup of Fritos. Put them in a bag and crush them finely.
- Add hot water to the ramen and let it cook.
- Add water to the Cheetos and Fritos mixture to make the Tamale dough.
- Chop the jerky sticks and pickles, then add to the ramen.
- Add the cheese spread to the ramen mixture.
- Flatten the Cheetos and Fritos dough.
- Add the ramen mixture at the center of the dough and roll it and enjoy.
To Wrap Things Up
These prison food recipes prove that delicious meals can be created even in the most challenging circumstances. Despite limited resources and strict constraints, these recipes showcase the ingenuity and creativity of incarcerated individuals in transforming simple ingredients into flavorful dishes.
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About The Author
Meet Rei Bayucca, an accomplished writer with a passion for exploring a wide range of industries. Through her skilled and thoughtful writing, Rei aims to inspire and educate readers with content that stimulates the mind.
